Couscous Of The Gods

Ingredients: 

tomato or mushroom flavored couscous from a box

chicken stock

small handful of frozen corn

small handful of frozen peas

some chopped sweet onion

defrosted, cooked-in-the-microwave chicken breast

Directions: 

Follow directions on back of box, with these changes: 

-Use chicken stock instead of water. 

-Toss in peas, corn, and onions a few minutes before adding couscous. 

-Add chopped up chicken with the couscous. 

Verdict:

This is so many kinds of delicious. Couscous may be tied for my favorite food, with Rice as the other contender. YUM. 

"Fuck You, Tiny Pan Quesadillas," or, "Why Didn't We Notice The Stupid Big Pan? Quesadillas"

Ingredients: 

tortillas

Chihuahua cheese

Colby cheese

butter

these delicious refried beans from ELFCO

Directions: 

Follow the directions on the box to make the refried beans, duh. Toss some butter in the pan. Slice some of each cheese, arrange on tortillas. For Jane's quesadilla, use a mix of colby and chihuahua cheese. For Dean's, use only chihuahua cheese. Do NOT skimp! Quesadillas without enough cheese are lame. Put the tortilla in the pan, let the cheese melt a little, then put another tortilla on top. Flip it over after a bit, then make sure the other side doesn't burn and that the cheese is melted all the way through. Take it off the burner, cut it up, the end. You are now the proud owner of a delicious quesadilla! Put it on a plate with some beans and you are ready to have a delicious, delicious lunch. Recommended additions include: more cheese on the beans; lemonade consumed directly out of the carton. 

Last Night's Dinner

-cocoa powder eaten out of the tin with a spoon

-orange juice

-'hint of lime' tostitos

-that's it. 

Fucking Social Security Office Should Burn Itself Down.

So I've been trying to get a job, but I have to have my actual social security card to apply for anything on campus. My mum sent it to me, but it got lost in the mail. DAMN. So anyways, this is pretty much how my day went.

So today I woke up, walked to school, and took a french test. Then I dropped by Anita's office to see if she was in--she wasn't. After that, I walked over to the union and mailed some stuff. From there, I got took the #1 bus to the CATA transportation center, then took the #5 over to were the social security office was supposed to be. All together, the bus ride took about an hour and a half, ugh! I wandered around a little looking for it, then went and asked directions at the Ingham County Human Resources Department, because I figured they would know where it was. The receptionist there told me that it was behind the Kmart across the street. I went over there and looked behind Kmart, but the only things that were there were a parking lot, a dumpster, and a big outcropping of trees a little farther back. I went inside and asked this nice woman if she knew where it was, and she gave me very good directions to take this weird little driveway and then walk half a block and then turn right and there it would be. I thanked her, and then went on my way. On the way there I saw a very scruffy homeless man with this beard that pointed in, like, every direction possible, who was picking up cans and muttering to himself. Very odd. So I finally got to the social security office, went in, took a number, and sat down. I read while I waited, which was good because I waited quite a while. Eventually they called my number and I went up and talked to the guy working there and it was all good; he gave me a receipt that would act as my ss card until they mailed me the real thing, he was really nice, everything was fine and dandy. On my way to the bus stop, i realized that i was just across the street from my favorite thrift store! This was the best part of the day; I ended up with two summer dresses (both real silk!) and two skirts for, altogether, $7. I'm the thrift store goddess of michigan, I really am. Anyways, then I took the bus(es) back to campus, and walked over to the Art Department. The nice woman who works there gave me forms to fill out, and we were chatting and it was all very nice, until I had to fill in my social security number. I took out the receipt to see what my number was, only to momentarily wonder who Jodie Lynn Marshall was. It then dawned on me that the social security office must've given me the wrong receipt! SO I couldn't fill out anything for job apps, but the art lady was very nice and said she would just file mine until I got my actual receipt. I left and called Dean, who looked up the ss office's number for me. I called them. After about a half hour of being on hold, dropped, and then being on hold again, I got to talk to someone. She was pretty unhelpful at first, but eventually got better. I told her what had happened, then she looked for my receipt, but (of course) couldn't find it. So apparently, this Jodie person now has pretty much ALL of my information, and I have hers. Hopefully she will not sell it to anyone or anything. I mentioned to ss woman that I'd really appreciate it if they'd call Jodie, and tell her what was up, and maybe could she destroy my receipt and not sell it on the black market? The desk woman replied that she would 'TRY to contact her'. WHAT. WHAT IS THAT ABOUT, SOCIAL SECURITY OFFICE? YOUR WHOLE POINT IS KEEPING TRACK OF PEOPLE; WHAT THE HELL?? HOW COULD YOU **NOT** BE ABLE TO CONTACT HER? GRRRRRrrRRrrrRrrrrrrrrr. Anyways, there wasn't enough time for me to bus back over there before they closed, and the ss office's not open until tuesday, so I won't be able to get my receipt or apply for a job until then. GRRR. Needless to say, today has not been the greatest of days. In retaliation, and because I wanted to, damn it, I got a rootbeer float from the Tasty Twist on the walk home. Take THAT, social security office! 

Now I am going to clean the house a little and do some dishes, because I just lead a very exciting life like that. Woo Friday night. Maybe I will go really wild and call my ever-busy boyfriend instead of just hanging out with the cat, who has been trying to claw my ears off and won't stop gnawing on my hair. 

Sandwich of the Not Quite So Lonely

Ingredients:

frozen chicken breasts

vegetable oil

a little flour

a little garlic powder

bread

two slices of muenster cheese

cream cheese

garlic in a tube stuff

bread and butter pickle slices

Directions:

Put the chicken in the microwave for, like, seven minutes so that it's cooked all the way through, then cut into thinnish slices. Toss the oil, flour, and garlic powder into a pan, then stir together and heat. When the oil starts sort of bubbling, put in the chicken and stir it around 'yil it's all delicious lookin'. Set aside. Toast the bread lightly. Put a thin layer of garlic stuff on one slice of bread, and a thin layer of cream cheese on the other. starting with the garlic bread, add a layer of muenster, then the chicken, then the pickles, and finally the cream cheese bread. Done!! For Jon's version, leave out the pickles. Apparently it is equally delicious!!

Library Computers Suck Ass

This has nothing to do with food, just in case you didn't realize that from the title. But I digress. I am writing here on the evils of the library computers. They are slow. They are ugly. They are old. The keyboards make my hands hurt, because to get them to type you basically have to bash each key. They take forever to start up. They don't all have mice. They don't all have keyboards. They don't all turn on. Windowwwssss. The one I'm working on at the moment is also covered in crumbs, for some reason. Apparently, the person who was on it before me thought that throwing bread at the screen would make it run better. Unfortunately, that does not seem to have been the case, as he or she left here without even bothering to remove the crumbs, most likely distracted by leaving in disgust.

So yeah. Today was my first day of French, and I predict that it will be a long summer.
Luckily the professor seemed really nice, and I knew two people in my class! Still, bleh.
Freeeeench.

Now I'm off to harass school finance people, get my french book, and probably get a bubble tea, because i have to and because bubble tea is delicious. So I guess this is about food a little bit. Mmmmmmm medium milk tea with coconut and black bubbles. YUM. Maybe some coconut chicken from the chinese restaurant, too; after last night I don't really feel like cooking.
In other news, I'm really not looking forward to walking home. It's just a long enough walk to be annoying and make my feet start to hurt. Bleh!
Enough complaining for now.

-jane

Proof That a Benevolent God Does Not Exist

Oh god why did I make this? 

Ingredients:

1/2 can Homestyle Baked Beans from Meijer

2 eggs

1 handful shredded cheddar cheese

a little bit of half and half

a small handful of chopped onion

 a small handful of frozen corn

garlic stuff

Directions:

Put the beans into a pot and heat until lightly bubbling, then add corn and onions. In a small bowl, scramble together eggs, half and half, and garlic stuff. Stir egg mixture into beans. Try not to be too horrified. Add cheddar in a pathetic attempt to cover up the monstrosity you have created. Stir. Cook until you are too revolted to continue. Done! 

Verdict: 

A little while ago, Dean mentioned that one day i was going to make something truly disgusting. Today is that day. This started out as something completely harmless. I was planning on making scrambled eggs with some baked beans on the side, thinking that they'd probably taste pretty good together and that if not, they would both still taste good with toast. A little while into making this harmless dinner, I was possessed by a demon that probably didn't have taste buds, because in its nasty little corner of hell anything it cooked burned them all off. I don't really know what I was thinking. Maybe I fell asleep. Anyways, this is a rather disturbing thing to have made. While it was still in the pot, it was sort of trying to bubble; these little pockets of gas were forming and then pushing up the top of it so that it looked as if it were breathing. I'm not even really sure if it was cooked all the way through when I took it off the heat, but I just couldn't keep looking at it. It looked like very disturbingly orange vomit. I actually tried to eat some of it because I didn't really want to make anything else because i am just that lazy, but then, immediately after consuming some of it, I felt sick to my stomach and just ended up throwing it away and making some ramen for dinner, instead. I'm really quite surprised that I even forced myself to taste it. 

It tasted like failure. 

Creepy Basement Beans (with rice)

Ingredients: 

1 can black beans

1 handful frozen corn

1 handful chopped sweet onion

some kikkoman teriyaki sauce

some butter

Directions: 

Open can of beans; drain most of the watery stuff. Toss the beans, the butter, the corn, and the onions into a pot. Heat on high until it's bubbling stirring often. Add teriyaki sauce and reduce heat when it starts bubbling too much (this is very scientific, clearly). When the onions are cooked and the beans and corn are unfrozen/very heated through, you're done! 

Verdict: 

I ate this with some 'Butter with Rice', which had a little bit of teriyaki sauce on it, and it was quite satisfying. It was a little bland, but I had a bit of an upset stomach so this was perfect. This recipe was almost called "I Hope The Sink Stops Backing Up Beans," for obvious and extremely unfortunate reasons. In explanation of the name I did choose, Dean and I watched a bunch of Supernatural, and I'm still pretty spooked. Luckily, the sink eventually stop backing up. The basement, however, is still fuckin' creepy as shit. 

I realized I forgot to take a picture, but then Rowena decided my dinner looked delicious. I am still fending her off!

After Nap Egg Drop Ramen Soup

Ingredients: 

1 package chicken ramen

2 eggs

1 handful each frozen corn and frozen peas

about a quarter of a sweet onion, chopped

some butter

some of that garlic stuff

Directions: 

Boil some water, after adding the flavor packet from the ramen and the garlic stuff. When it's boiling, stir in the peas and corn. After a bit of time, toss in the onions and the butter. Soon after that, put in the noodles. Scramble the two eggs in a cup or bowl or something. Wait until the block of noodles sort of starts to break up, then very quickly add the eggs and rapidly stir the soup, making sure to get the eggs and noodles and everything all mixed in together. Done!

Verdict: 

This recipe is based off of one Josh showed me how to make last night! I probably did it a little differently, but I think it's pretty much the same. Mine, surprisingly enough, tasted almost equally delicious, which means VERY DELICIOUS. I highly, highly recommend this soup to anyone that likes ramen or egg drop soup, obviously. It is especially delicious if you have a lovely boy along to eat it with you! awwww.

2-in-the-Morning Scrambled Eggs

Ingredients:

2 eggs

some muenster cheese, in little bits

half a spoonful of cream cheese

a bit of onion, finely diced

pepper, to taste

Directions:

Mix everything together, making sure the eggs are thoroughly scrambled. Toss it all in a pan, cook! the end. 

Verdict: 

Delicious. Always, always delicious. 

Not Your Chinese Restaurant's Teriyaki Chicken (aka, Teriyaki Chicken of Death)

I put this on top of some rice, and it was quite edible. 

Ingredients: 

1 defrosted chicken breast

a small handful of frozen corn and peas

some kikkoman teriyaki sauce

some kikkoman soy sauce

vegetable oil

balsamic vinegar

sugar, to taste

Directions:

Cut up the chicken into little pieces. In a small pan, mix 2 parts vegetable oil, 1 part soy sauce, .5 parts balsamic vinegar, and 3 parts teriyaki sauce. Add chicken and a little bit of sugar. Put on high heat until it sauce begins to bubble, then reduce heat to low. let simmer, stirring often. When you think the chicken's pretty much done, toss in the peas and corn. Simmer until everything is cooked! 

Verdict:

Not too bad. I let it simmer for a little too long, so mine was rather strong, but I think that next time I will just not cook everything for so long. The balsamic vinegar was a total accident; I thought I'd grabbed the teriyaki sauce again, and then realized I was very clearly mistaken only after I'd poured some in. I'll probably leave that out if I make this again. 

Butter with Rice

This is a staple in my diet, even when I'm not on my own. When I say that I put something on top of rice, this is what I mean. 

Ingredients: 

1.5 cups water

.5 cups rice

6 Tbsp butter (about a fourth of a stick of butter)

Directions: 

Boil water. Add rice and cover pot, then reduce heat to low. Wait for it to cook; the package should tell you times for all this shit. When the water's cooked in enough so that it's about the same level as the rice in the pot, add the butter. ALL the butter. When the rice is done cooking, it should be rather sticky and absurdly buttery. I will sometimes put more butter on top of it when it's finished cooking and stir it all around. yum!! 

Sandwich of the Lonely

Ingredients:

two slices of 'vienna' bread, from meijer

two slices of muenster cheese

cream cheese

garlic in a tube stuff. you know, this shit: http://www.gourmetgarden.com/media/view/1310/garlic-tube-us-large.jpg

bread and butter pickle slices (the sweet/spicy ones that dean hates)

Directions:

put a thin layer of garlic stuff on one slice of bread, and a thin layer of cream cheese on the other. starting with the garlic-bread, add one slice of cheese, then a layer of pickles, then the next slice of cheese, and finally the cream cheese-bread slice. done!

Verdict: 

surprisingly delicious. the pickles gave it some crunchiness which was really nice. this is probably one of those things that makes it seem like i am a pregnant woman with really strange cravings or something. note: i am not actually pregnant. 

Uber Ramen #1

Ingredients:

chicken flavored ramen

frozen peas

frozen corn

a little butter

a little curry powder

chicken breast

Directions:

mix the butter, a handful of frozen peas, and a handful of frozen corn in a microwavable bowl. microwave that shit for about 3 minutes. prepare ramen like it says on the package, aka, on the STOVE, not in the microwave, Dean. when it's done, pour off the water and THEN put in the seasoning. make the chicken; i used frozen stuff that you just toss in the oven for a bit. cut up chicken into manageable pieces. mix the chicken, curry powder, and pea-corn-butter-mixture in with the ramen noodles. done! if you're feeling in a mood for more butter, add more butter. i usually do. 

Verdict: 

this was pretty delicious. and by pretty delicious, i mean i ate the whole damn bowl. success!! 

The Beginning

So i was bored and walking over to campus, and i had just made a slightly horrifying but delicious sandwich, and i thought of the "Sandwich of the Damned" in Templar, Arizona. Since i'm living on my own for the summer, and thus cooking for myself, i figured i would chronicle my summer by keeping track of the weird food i made! woo. can you tell i'm going a little nuts being alone so much? it's only been a day! oh god. 

Anyways, i love you all and perhaps you will find a recipe or two that is to your liking. next post: Uber Ramen #1 and the Sandwich of the Lonely. 

i'm really not as morose as this post seems to make me out to be! i promise! 

-jane